Erisian Pyramid
NOTE: The Erisian Pyramid was entirely destroyed by the followers of Lord Babel around the turn of the 7th century. This article is preserved for historical interest.
Through the dry reaches of sand indigenous to the Mhojave Desert, therein resides a curious construct.
General Knowledge
Known as the Erisian Pyramid, it was the official place of worship of Eris, the Goddess of Chaos. As a creation dedicated to the Goddess of Chaos, the behaviour of the Pyramid itself was indeed chaotic. This is because it could be located at six different places in the Mhojave Desert, depending on what time it was. Though it was tricky to find, the Erisian Pyramid was a peculiar locale and was be of interest to those holidaymaker adventurers who were intrigued by a world of Chaos, confusion and utter randomness.
Places of Interest
The Erisian Pyramid was a step-pyramid comprised of five main tiers before reaching the highest point of the temple, listed from nearest the bottom to the highest point. Tourists had to be vigilant. Oftentimes visitors were not able to find their way out of some tiers, so keeping all belongings one's person was advised.
Tier of Primal Chaos
Primal Chaos
The Tier of Primal Chaos bore no secrets to its entrance - Primal Chaos. Upon entering via a platform, the average holidaymaker would find that they were subjected to floating in the entity of raw Chaos. It was quite impossible to describe what points of interest there were in that zero-gravity floating trip, though people did report reliving their best dreams and worst nightmares, and having their vision flooded with every colour in existence.
Once the entrance to the inner reaches of the Pyramid, the Corps of the Golden Apple, wherein the Seed of Chaos once lied, did dissolve back into Chaos with the exodus of Eris from existence.
Primordial Forest of Chaos
For those with a firm interest in botany, it would have been wise to move on from floating in Primal Chaos to the Primordial Forest of Chaos. That is, if you could find it through the miasma. A forest in its own right and classed as part of the Chaos Plane, the Primordial Forest once bore life to strangely coloured species of ferns, quite different to those on the Prime Material Plane. It was also the home of a tribe of stickpeople, formed from Primal Chaos and Primordial Green. As a precaution, it was not recommended to aggravate them because the stickpeople were known to be violent when approached.
For historical trivia, it was in this Tier that the Eileithyian Tree resided for a while, although it was moved to the temple of Aegis, God of War.
Tier of Dynamic Discord
The Tier of Dynamic Discord focused upon opposites. With rooms facing each other off on the west and the east side, they were prevented from physically joining by the Hall of Discordant Opposition. There were five pairs of opposing rooms, with the final room, the Chamber of Discordant Synergy, as the only room without an opposite, bringing the Chaos together.
Tier of Confusion
- Welcome Back to Confusia: The Land That Time Didn't Want To Have Anything To Do With. We knew you couldn't stay away!
Confusia, a place where streets repeated and they sold cheese by the load. And it was apparently good cheese too. With a mayor called Fred, Confusia was as its name suggested - confusing. From the Avenue of Misunderstanding to Misinterpretation Street, Addled Avenue to Rocky Road, Golden Apple Highway and Offbeat Path, Confusia was a never-ending trip that confounded thousands. Literally a tourist trap, one could lose oneself and easily blend in with the locals.
Note that the locals consisted of polka-dotted turtles, toady bellhops, Cheshire Cats that vanished with a smile, living ideograms, bright blue hares, a hairy man, various other clueless people, and the Puffboy, who had a particularly bouncy body.
If you were looking to stay in Confusia for a while, one was advised to take a trip to Hotel Confusia. You don't need to book a room, and there were always vacancies. Julie, the Receptionist, greeted visitors to what often seemed like an eternity there. Visitors were advised not to forget to say hello to a couple of longstanding guests, Mr. and Mrs. Gawainson. It was almost as if they'd been there forever.
When it cane to leaving Confusia, and visitors were assuredly warned that they wouldnt, they wiped away tears as they lugged their luggage out, taking a look around themselves when they arrived back on to the Tier outside...
- Welcome Back to Confusia: The Land That Time Didn't Want To Have Anything To Do With. We knew you couldn't stay away!
Confusia, a place where streets repeated and they sold cheese by the load. And it was good cheese too. With a mayor called Fred, Confusia was...
Tier of Bureaucracy
A ministerial Tier, bureaucracy was rife here. The Tier of Bureaucracy was overseen by the mighty Greyface, the various ministries, divisions and bureaus work like clockwork, as long as all the papers were in order, signed in triplicate, sent to the correct division, sent back, sent forward again, sent to another division, signed by the leading officer, sent back again, stamped, passed back, copied to the right authorisation... if the system failed, then it was chaos! That's why visitors must have had their forms sent to the correct place, lest they drown in bureaucracy.
Most of the pen-pushing office workers were busy unless visitors had the correct form at hand. For a break from bureaucracy, visitors were advised to find Todd, the janitor, for a shoulder to cry upon.
Tier of the Apocalypse
The final Tier of the Erisian Pyramid, the Tier of the Apocalypse sometimes seemed like a bit of an anti-climax at first glance. A series of cracked, rough marble tunnels streaked with gems paved the way to the Apocalypse Chamber. Eventually.
Compared to the glorious decor of the previous Tiers, the Apocalypse Chamber was rather drab, except for a book upon a wrought iron podium. The bookish sometimes enjoyed leafing through it, though the main attraction was in the centre of the Chamber, inside a wooden box which rivalled all the other attractions of the Erisian Pyramid.
Inhabitants
The inhabitants of the Erisian Pyramid included but were not limited to the following:
- bright blue hares
- Charles Twitly
- Cheshire Cats
- Eric Obtuserus
- flying pigs
- Fred, Mayor of Confusia
- Grant Basicthought
- The Greyface, C.E.O
- Hagbard Celine
- Helen Heartless
- a humanoid poodle named Fifi
- ideograms
- Irene Irvington
- Julie, the Hotel Receptionist
- Kurt Crustie
- Marvin, the Receptionist
- Matilda Insipidia
- Maude Banalia
- Monty Murduck
- Moronica the Intern
- Mr. Gawainson
- Mr. Martin Dullington, Sr. V.P
- Mrs. Gawainson
- Ms. Gertrude Plainly, Jr. V.P
- Pansy Vapidia
- polka-dotted turtles
- the Puffboy
- Sally Simpleton
- stickpeople
- toady bellhops
- Todd, the Janitor
Risk Factors
- violent, aggressive natives
- exposure to Chaos
- losing oneself for all eternity
- going mad
- certain death in some cases
Despite all these, the Erisian Pyramid was a hot tourist spot for many Achaeans, and those who wanted to learn more, or be confounded by the world of Eris.