Erisian Pyramid
NOTE: The Erisian Pyramid was entirely destroyed by the followers of Lord Babel. This article is preserved for historical interest.
Through the dry reaches of sand indigenous to the Mhojave Desert, therein resides a curious construct.
General Knowledge
Known as the Erisian Pyramid, it is the official place of worship of Eris, the Goddess of Chaos. As a creation dedicated to the Goddess of Chaos, the behaviour of the Pyramid itself is indeed chaotic. This is because it can be located at six different places in the Mhojave Desert, depending on what time it is. Though it may be tricky to find, the Erisian Pyramid is a peculiar locale and may be of interest to those holidaymaker adventurers who are intrigued by a world of Chaos, confusion and utter randomness.
Places of Interest
The Erisian Pyramid is a step-pyramid that comprises of five main tiers before reaching the highest point of the temple, listed from nearest the bottom to the highest point. Tourists, beware! You may not be able to find your way out of some tiers, so keep all your belongings with you and be vigilant!
Tier of Primal Chaos
Primal Chaos
The Tier of Primal Chaos bears no secrets to its entrance - Primal Chaos. Upon entering via a platform, the average holidaymaker will find that they are subjected to floating in the entity of raw Chaos. It is quite impossible to describe what points of interest there are in this zero-gravity floating trip, though people have reported reliving their best dreams and worst nightmares, and having their vision flooded with every colour in existence.
Once the entrance to the inner reaches of the Pyramid, the Corps of the Golden Apple, wherein the Seed of Chaos once lied, has dissolved back into Chaos with the exodus of Eris from existence.
Primordial Forest of Chaos
For those with a firm interest in botany, it would probably be wise to move on from floating in Primal Chaos to the Primordial Forest of Chaos. That is, if you can find it through the miasma. A forest in its own right and classed as part of the Chaos Plane, the Primordial Forest bears life to strangely coloured species of ferns, quite different to those on the Prime Material Plane. It is also the home of a tribe of stickpeople, formed from Primal Chaos and Primordial Green. As a precaution, do not aggravate them because the stickpeople are known to be violent when approached.
For historical trivia, it was in this Tier that the Eileithyian Tree resided for a while, although it was moved to the temple of Aegis, God of War.
Tier of Dynamic Discord
The Tier of Dynamic Discord focuses upon opposites. With rooms facing each other off on the west and the east side, they are prevented by physically joining by the Hall of Discordant Opposition. There are five pairs of opposing rooms, with the final room, the Chamber of Discordant Synergy, as the only room without an opposite, bringing the Chaos together.
Tier of Confusion
- Welcome Back to Confusia: The Land That Time Didn't Want To Have Anything To Do With. We knew you couldn't stay away!
Confusia, a place where streets repeat and they sell cheese by the load. And it's good cheese too. With a mayor called Fred, Confusia is as its name suggests - confusing. From the Avenue of Misunderstanding to Misinterpretation Street, Addled Avenue to Rocky Road, Golden Apple Highway and Offbeat Path, Confusia is a never-ending trip that will confound you. Literally a tourist trap, one can lose oneself and easily blend in with the locals.
Note that the locals consist of polka-dotted turtles, toady bellhops, Cheshire Cats that vanish with a smile, living ideograms, bright blue hares, a hairy man, various other clueless people, and the Puffboy, who has a particularly bouncy body.
If you are looking to stay in Confusia for a while, take a trip to Hotel Confusia. You don't need to book a room, and there are always vacancies. Julie, the Receptionist, will be glad to greet you to what may seem like an eternity here. Don't forget to say hello to a couple of longstanding guests, Mr. and Mrs. Gawainson. It's almost as if they've been here forever.
When it comes to leaving Confusia, and I'm sure you won't, wipe away a tear as you lug your luggage out, take a look around you when you get back on to the Tier outside...
- Welcome Back to Confusia: The Land That Time Didn't Want To Have Anything To Do With. We knew you couldn't stay away!
Confusia, a place where streets repeat and they sell cheese by the load. And it's good cheese too. With a mayor called Fred, Confusia is...
Tier of Bureaucracy
A ministerial Tier, bureaucracy is rife here. The Tier of Bureaucracy is overseen by the mighty Greyface, the various ministries, divisions and bureaus work like clockwork, as long as all the papers are in order, signed in triplicate, sent to the correct division, sent back, sent forward again, sent to another division, signed by the leading officer, sent back again, stamped, passed back, copied to the right authorisation... if the system fails, then it's chaos! That's why you must have your form sent to the correct place, lest you drown in bureaucracy.
Most of the pen-pushing office workers are busy unless you have the correct form at hand. For a break from bureaucracy, if your head is going to explode with it, there's always Todd, the janitor, for a shoulder to cry upon.
Tier of the Apocalypse
The final Tier of the Erisian Pyramid, the Tier of the Apocalypse may seem like a bit of an anti-climax at first glance. A series of cracked, rough marble tunnels streaked with gems pave the way to the Apocalypse Chamber. Eventually.
Compared to the glorious decor of the previous Tiers, the Apocalypse Chamber is rather drab, except for a book upon a wrought iron podium. The bookish among you might enjoy leafing through it, though the main attraction is in the centre of the Chamber, inside a wooden box which rivals all the other attractions of the Erisian Pyramid.
Inhabitants
The inhabitants of the Erisian Pyramid include but are not limited to the following:
- bright blue hares
- Charles Twitly
- Cheshire Cats
- Eric Obtuserus
- flying pigs
- Fred, Mayor of Confusia
- Grant Basicthought
- The Greyface, C.E.O
- Hagbard Celine
- Helen Heartless
- a humanoid poodle named Fifi
- ideograms
- Irene Irvington
- Julie, the Hotel Receptionist
- Kurt Crustie
- Marvin, the Receptionist
- Matilda Insipidia
- Maude Banalia
- Monty Murduck
- Moronica the Intern
- Mr. Gawainson
- Mr. Martin Dullington, Sr. V.P
- Mrs. Gawainson
- Ms. Gertrude Plainly, Jr. V.P
- Pansy Vapidia
- polka-dotted turtles
- the Puffboy
- Sally Simpleton
- stickpeople
- toady bellhops
- Todd, the Janitor
Risk Factors
- violent, aggressive natives
- exposure to Chaos
- losing oneself for all eternity
- going mad
- certain death in some cases
Despite all these, the Erisian Pyramid is a hot tourist spot for many Achaeans, and those who want to learn more, or be confounded by the world of Eris.