Law of Fives

The Law of Fives is one of the oldest Erisian Mysterees. (See the symbol of the five fingered hand of Eris -><-.) The Law of Fives states simply that: ALL THINGS HAPPEN IN FIVES, OR ARE DIVISIBLE BY OR ARE MULTIPLES OF FIVE, OR ARE SOMEHOW DIRECTLY OR INDIRECTLY APPROPRIATE TO 5. The Law of Fives is never wrong.

Thus, it should be of no surprise that the Erisian teachings are divided into five stages: Primal Chaos; Discord; Confusion; Bureaucracy; and the Apocalypse (or Aftermath). As above, so below, these stages can be applied from a cosmic scale and to the workings of entire civilizations.

One

Primal Chaos is that which is balanced on the Edge of Oblivion by the Perfect Counterpullpush of the Podge and the Hodge. Mortals sometimes refer to the Primal Chaos stage of their evolution as the Primitive Age, though generally mortals are so embarrassed by this era that it is rarely mentioned at all. Eris, Lady of the Mushroom and Dreamer of the Rainbow, is generally heavily intoxicated during all primal stages.

Two

By the Law of Negative Reversal, the Podge swiftly underpowers the Hodge and Everything breaks loose And therein emerges the Active Force of Discord, the Subtle Manifestation of the Nonexistent Chao. At this stage in mortal development, chaos encourages groups to form and unform. This is the stage of Eris Awakening, wherein She begins to play with mortalkind, ordering some of them just to see what would happen. She amuses Herself by creating order. So She groups some things with others and some groups with others, and big groups with little groups, and all combinations until She has many grand schemes which delight Her.

Three

When the Force of Discord enters the State of Confusion, Eris, Our Lady of Discord and Gross Manifestation of the Nonexistent Chao, steps back and releases all that She created. Thus, mortals enter an Age of Confusion, or an Ancient Age, when History As We Know It begins to unfold, and when Whatever Is Coming emerges in Corporal Form, more or less.

Four

And under Eris Confusion became established, and was hence called Bureaucracy; while over Bureaucracy Eris became established, and was hence called Discordia. An Age of Bureaucracy is an Imperial Age in which Things Mature, in which Confusion becomes entrenched and during which Balanced Balance, or Stagnation, is attained.

Five

Finally, there is an Apocalyptic Period of Transition back to Chaos through the Screen of Oblivion. After the Fall of the Establishment of Bureaucracy (the cause of the Fall is often a paper shortage) there is the Aftermath, an Age of Apocalypse in which calculation, computations, and reckonings are put away by the Children of Eris in Acceptance and Preparation for the Return to Oblivion to be followed by a Rebirth into Primal Chaos.

During and Moreover, the Coming of the Apocalypse heralds a Resurrection of the Freedom-flowing Chaos and a Repetition of the Universal Absurdity. HAIL ERIS!