Halos

Joined 29 July 2010
5 bytes added ,  22:21, 30 June 2016
no edit summary
(test)
Line 35: Line 35:
Yes, it is true! From 'A Booke of Hystorickal Seraphs, Or Angeles of Olde by Arisa Raviede' to 'Courting Thrones Or How I Learned to Play the Brazen Zither With Confidence by Zingaros of Therophane', each book had been torn down by the malevolent snake-titles. Every single one of the hundred oaken bookshelves fell to damneable ruin like miniature towers of Babel in one night, the pages of their precious tomes scattered like so many dying leaves. And that was the disastrous end of the Marcella Library, I'm m afraid. The venerable Severian Marcella was probably rolling in his grave by that time. The Empire itself met calamity and collapsed in on itself not long after but that is a (probably) unrelated story for another time.
Yes, it is true! From 'A Booke of Hystorickal Seraphs, Or Angeles of Olde by Arisa Raviede' to 'Courting Thrones Or How I Learned to Play the Brazen Zither With Confidence by Zingaros of Therophane', each book had been torn down by the malevolent snake-titles. Every single one of the hundred oaken bookshelves fell to damneable ruin like miniature towers of Babel in one night, the pages of their precious tomes scattered like so many dying leaves. And that was the disastrous end of the Marcella Library, I'm m afraid. The venerable Severian Marcella was probably rolling in his grave by that time. The Empire itself met calamity and collapsed in on itself not long after but that is a (probably) unrelated story for another time.


The real victim of snake-titles is practicality. For instance, is it absolutely necessary that patrons are informed--within a casual glance at the shelves--that the 'Principles of Order and Laws of Chaos' are not only presented 'as defined by Agatheis, the Elemental Lord'' AND 'presented by His Order' (obviously) but ALSO appallingly plagiarised by one illustrious Madelyne Fol'ia, who was apparently an Elemental Grand Master and perhaps referred to humorously at one point in her long, unnotable life as a "Splatterpainted Stage Director"? Who in all the green worlds cares what Miss Fol'ia is called behind her back at the slattern-draped tables of the Dancing Boar? Moreover, must this book truly gush this useless information so freely to the detriment of the more modestly titled 'Principal Works of the Order of Justice' or demurely named 'Tome of the Anointed'? I think my case has been adequately presented.
The real victim of snake-titles is practicality. For instance, is it absolutely necessary that patrons are informed--within a casual glance at the shelves--that the ''Principles of Order and Laws of Chaos'' are not only presented ''as defined by Agatheis, the Elemental Lord'' AND ''presented by His Order'' (obviously) but ALSO appallingly plagiarised by one illustrious Madelyne Fol'ia, who was apparently an Elemental Grand Master and perhaps referred to humorously at one point in her long, unnotable life as a "Splatterpainted Stage Director"? Who in all the green worlds cares what Miss Fol'ia is called behind her back at the slattern-draped tables of the Dancing Boar? Moreover, must this book truly gush this useless information so freely to the detriment of the more modestly titled 'Principal Works of the Order of Justice' or demurely named 'Tome of the Anointed'? I think my case has been adequately presented.


So, you see, Archivist, I implore you to please take care when stocking our brand new shelves with those precious books. Be a good gardener and please PRUNE those overreaching titles. Eviscerate the personal titles of authors. Strike down author names altogether on certain ones if necessary! Put those snake-titles in their places! For the sake of the books, for the sake of academia, for the sake of the all-seeing Light, please have them trimmed back before they consume us all. Thank you.
So, you see, Archivist, I implore you to please take care when stocking our brand new shelves with those precious books. Be a good gardener and please PRUNE those overreaching titles. Eviscerate the personal titles of authors. Strike down author names altogether on certain ones if necessary! Put those snake-titles in their places! For the sake of the books, for the sake of academia, for the sake of the all-seeing Light, please have them trimmed back before they consume us all. Thank you.
8,099

edits