Gnaash versus the Giant

By: Gnaash Posted on: June 22, 2006

Gnaash take walk on great big road
So see what Gnaash could see.
Wander off into some hills
By river under tree.
See some footprint pretty big,
Think, "Maybe troll be here!
Maybe Gnaash pay visit,
Eat some snack, drink some beer.
Could be relative or friend,
Gnaash catch up on old time."
But no was troll make footprint!
Was giant that Gnaash find.
Dress in blue and saffron,
Head is shave and smooth like stone,
One eye gold, one eye blue,
Tattoo on arm is shown.
Hold in hand long polearm,
Face stern, look unimpress.
Gnaash look guard up and down.
Vertani pretty big, Gnaash guess.
No take chance at start a fight
Gnaash give guard trollish grin,
"Greetings, giant!" Gnaash proclaim.
Vertani stroke at chin.
"Gnaash hear tale of giant brew
Can make a mammoth faint,
Or moirah steak as big as house!"
(Gnaash have no self-restraint.)
Vertani guard take moment
Decide just what should do.
Then with a sneer and scoff announce,
"I'll eat much more than you!"
Skeptical, Gnaash grunt and nod.
"Will see who win that bet."
Fall in line behind the guard,
So tall and heavyset.
Pass by feral animal
With horn on top of head,
Slick black hoof on stocky leg,
Pale grey like mound of lead.
"Vertani can eat massive gour?"
"In a couple hours, or less."
Gnaash think would be a challenge,
Stomach cry out in distress.
Gnaash take second look at gour
Stomp on rocky ground.
Gnaash mouth begin to water,
What a meal! Three-thousand pound!
But when get to Vertani bar
Gnaash little disappoint,
Only have small serving.
No a single gour joint.
After little boasting
And a couple glass of Daq's,
Gnaash and giant guard tuck in,
No time for relax.
Gnaash put down eight moirah steak,
Xabat kabobs to match;
But Vertani no be bested,
Ten of each quickly dispatch.
Moirah juice run down Gnaash chin
As bite another steak.
Mouth still full of Xabat meat,
Big swig of beer Gnaash take.
Just when think no end in sight,
Rakwor appear with platter.
Vertani heave with mighty groan.
Gnaash wonder what is matter?
"There's no way I'll touch that mess
Of organ meat and offal."
Gnaash raise an eyebrow, wondering,
Scoop up a healthy maw-full.
Meat on platter wriggling
As slide down Gnaash’s throat.
Consistency like jellied squid,
Smell like rancid goat.
Gnaash grin broad as chew (and chew),
Guard jaw go slack and drop,
Squint at eyeball nicely perch
Like cherry on the top.
"Gnaash, I yield!" Vertani say,
"You are the rightful winner."
Guard run off, hand over mouth,
Come back pale and thinner.
When Gnaash depart from Tir Murann
Have make a big new friend.
Gnaash snap Vertani sharp salute,
"Should do this again!"