Lessons from an Old Sea-dog

By: Fortunat Posted on: December 30, 2005

Ahoy me mateys, step aboard,
I've a thing or two to say.
So listen up ye soggy dogs
And we'll be on our way.
I've swashed buckles with the best
And I know how 'tis done,
I can best the lot of ye
'Fore the settin' of the sun!
Backflippin' 'tis so easy
Me ol' ma can do.
But if ye handspring, lady
You can do some damage too.
The backhandspring will get ye 'way
If trouble is a'brewin'
But if you're wrapped in webbin'
It's a somersault you'd be doin'.
Now knuckleslap's 'bout as good
As a lubber at the wheel.
So never mind that rubbish
And keep an even keel.
A bit of rope 'tis all ye need
To gather up ye wenches,
From the crow's nest fly ye down
And abscond the lasses senseless.
If ye hope to survive long
On the bloody seas
You'll need to learn to parry
And get up off yer knees.
Parry's fine, trueparry's better
As 'tis plain to see.
Ye can save your arse
If you choose one of the three.
Right, left, or center
You'll be doin' fine
And with a quick Risposte
Ye can make the scoundrel whine.
Now, there's nothin' like a cup-o-rum
To make a DrunkenSailor.
Try to hit him if ye can
'fore he gets much paler!
After all's been said and done
Mateys get out of the way
If ye see me climb the trees
And holler "DFA!"