The War of Minia

By: Kirrh Posted on: July 30, 2005

The guards tightened their grips and hefted their spears warningly as the stranger approached. "Halt," called the one on the right, Keru. As the senior of the two guards, Keru had the right to all ‘halt's, ‘who goes's, and ‘you may not pass's that were called for. Until finishing his five years as an underguardsmen, Keru's partner Rilda was only allowed grunts, in-understandable mutterings of support, and the occasional battlecry.

"Who goes?" Keru demanded, immediately backed up by an almost-distinct, "Yeah, who?" provided by Rilda.

The stranger stopped and blinked. "You can see me?" he demanded in a squeaky voice. "Damn that senile coot…" he muttered.

At this, Keru blinked as well, dumbfounded. That wasn't the response he was supposed to get. The person was supposed to identify himself, and then Keru could get on to the part about not passing. After a moment's deep thought, he figured it would be safer just to go ahead with that anyway. "You may not pass!" he roared. "So there!" Rilda echoed uselessly.

"But you must let me pass! I," the small being in question drew himself to full height proudly, "am a diplomat."

Keru, unsure of what a diplomat was, was regardless so impressed by the confidence with which the stranger had pronounced the word that he knelt reverently and hurried to apologize. "What brings you to out humble village, sir?"

"I have been said by my master," he paused dramatically, "the Imp Lord"—Keru gasped and Rilda gave a surprised ‘hm'—"to propose an alliance"—"Ooh," from Keru; "Aah," from Rilda—"with your chieftain"—dramatic pause—"Beku." Keru fainted with shock, but was quickly roused by his sidekick.

"Right this way, sir, Keru directed with dignity, bowing the diplomat into Beku's hut. A small yellow butterfly flitted in through the open door as they went.

Beku frowned as the small imp was ushered into his great presence. "Who is this?" he demanded of Keru.

"A diplomat, oh Chieftain."

Beku nodded. "You may leave us." The guards saluted, bowed, and left. "What is your business?" he asked of the diplomat.

"My name, sir, is Edar. My lord, the leader of the Great Imp Nation, wishes to ally with your pygmy forces for the betterment of imp-pygmy relations and improvement of out qualities of live."

The pygmy frowned suspiciously. "What sort of alliance?"

"Military, sire," Edar replied.

"How so?"

Edar leaned close and explained his lord's plan in detail as Beku's smile grew wider and more malicious. "Tell your master," he said with a grin, "that he shall have our full cooperation."

"We've been training for almost a year now!" Rilda complained. "When are they going to tell us what the plan is?"

Keru rolled his eyes. All the former guards of Miba, even underguardsmen, had been appointed as senior soldiers, and Rilda seemed to think it gave him the right to express an opinion. But today, unlike the other two-hundred and sixty-three days Rilda has questioned their purpose, the pygmy's pleas were answered.

Silence fell upon the training grounds as Beku stepped forth from his great hut, followed by the now familiar Edar. But the two men simply stood there without comment, causing a confused ripple of talk to spread through the crowd. But then they heard the distinct sound of marching, countless boots hitting the ground in unison. Breaking the ranks they turned to the path leading out of Miba village and waited.

Sunlight gleamed off steel as hundreds of imps marched into the clearing, the formation led by the Imp Lord himself, mounted upon a hellcat. The imps halted but their leader continued forward, pygmy soldiers falling back to let him pass. Edar bowed deeply at his approach, but the proud chieftain merely inclined his head solemnly. Just before reaching the hut the Imp Lord turned, still mounted, to address the assembled troops.

"Soldiers of the Free Republic of Pygmies, I present to you the army of the Great Imp Nation!" he cried out, his small voice turned large by a potion he'd requested of his new alchemist; the old one had been fired for his failed invisibility potion. The imps shouted out warcries and clashed weapons against their armor to create a great clatter.

Not to be outdone, Beku summoned Rimba over and whispered to him, then waited for the noise to die down. Stepping forward he announced, with his voice amplified by Rimba and his apprentices, "Fighters of the Great Imp Nation, behold the brave phalanxes of the Free Republic of Pygmies!" The pygmies beat their shields with their spears and howled.

The impish leader frowned at his pygmy counterpart, but in his great dignity let it pass. Instead he held up his hand and the tumult faded. A white butterfly landed on his finger and he growled, shaking it off in annoyance before continuing. "I know you have all been eager to be informed of our strategy. Now our plan has been completed, and we shall share it with you!"

Pygmies and imps stood taller, intrigued to finally hear the reason behind their training. Indulging them at last, the Imp lord launched into a deep explanation.

For too long, he said, they had let others do their work for him. "We can no longer sit by and wait for people to bring us the corpses of our enemies!" Because that, he explained, allowed their enemies to do the same. "How many times have we seen our allies slaughtered to be sold like garbage? It ends now. Minia will be ours!"

Even Beku found himself cheering at that line, but the small orator again raised his hand for silence. First they would take the Libra Dungeon. He bade the pygmies imagine having the whole system of caves as their slave pen. All the kobold meat they could ever desire. Pepu nearly fell into his stewpot in ecstasy. They would then move on to the Pixie Village and there they would take no prisoners. The pixies would be wiped out. Together they would overcome every obstacle.

After another round of cheers, they set off. They marched in alternating rows; pygmies, imps, pygmies, imps. Past the outskirts of Miba, past the train to the Ember Tower, and before long they reached the entrance to the Libra Dungeon. Posting part of the force before the stairs to stop any escape attempts, the stormed the dungeon, incapacitating all in their way.

Or they would have, had there been anyone to incapacitate. But the entire dungeon, from half-carved tunnels to the cave of the King Kobold himself, was empty. Beku growled, standing before the throne of his nemesis, "They've been warned!"

"Impossible," the Imp Lord shot back, though he too frowned with rage. "We three have been the only ones who've known. I told no one, Edar is more loyal than any other, and I trust you, considering this was in your best interest as well."

Beku nodded distractedly, still looking at the throne. "No matter," he declared at last. "We cab return once the pixies have been dealt with." The red butterfly resting on the arm of the throne flapped its wings as if in agreement.

The armies marched again, now past the strangely deserted archway; though at the time it struck no one as odd that even the butterfly collector had left to somewhere else. With a roaring charge they entered the Pixie Village, but again found no prey. Cursing, they assembled in the center of the village to discuss.

The combined army circled around a fountain as their leaders and Edar sat upon its rim, talking softly amongst themselves. Nobody noticed as the first colorful butterfly landed on the marble pillar in the fountain's center, nor did they notice the second or third. Within minutes, however, the top of the fountain was covered in them and still more flew in.

Butterflies of all imaginable colors swarmed into the clearing, swirling down towards the fountain into what looked like a pathway. Even more impossibly, they stopped fluttering, hovering in the air against all experience. The soldiers murmured softly, pointing up at the butterfly road that led off beyond the trees.

Then a figure came into view, walking magically across the winds of the insects. The lord of the imps jumped up as the figure got closer, demanding, "What is the meaning of this?"

"I should be asking that of you," the man on the butterfly bridge replied calmly, still striding over the still wings. "What is the meaning of this?" He swept his arm out to indicate the army amassed in the clearing.

Both the Imp Lord and Beku turned pale as they recognized the intruder. "V-vellis," the Lord stammered. "How very n-nice to see you after all-all this time…"

Vellis waved a dismissive hand. "Enough of this nonsense. You will stop immediately. Send these ruffians home, and then I shall deal with you two." Their troops were shocked that the great commanders would take orders from this old man, but obediently followed Edar back to their respective homes. Vellis paid them no more mind, frowning over his crossed arms at the imp and pygmy before him. "I don't like war," he said simply. "I don't like armies, I don't like fighting. I like peace and quiet for my retirement. I like being able to sit with my butterflies and not be bothered. Because of these things that I do and don't like, I made a deal with you and the others. You remember that deal?"

"Yes sir," the Imp Lord replied with a squeak. Beku was still stunned silent.

"I have stayed true to my half, have I not? I provide you with the funds you need to pay for the corpses you desire, and all I ask is that you leave Minia in peace. And instead you answer me with this?" The leaders stared at him silently. "Be gone, while I'm still feeling generous enough to let you go. But if you break our agreement again…"

Beku and the Imp Lord didn't stick around to let Vellis finish that thought.

"Sir?"

The Imp Lord slumped in his throne, his gnarled face sunk in his hands. "Leave me be, Edar. I was a fool for making that deal with him, but twice the fool for breaking it."

Edar would not be sent away so easily, however. "Sir," he persisted, "is Vellis really that powerful?"

"No mortal can kill him," was the soft reply. "Only the Gods Themselves know where he got his power or his fortune… Neither have run out in all these years. He is truly the man who runs Minia…"