A Lesson in Herbs

By: Spudd Posted on: October 29, 2007

Within the quiet glen and shaded fern

Are many herbs of prime mortal concern.

Their diverse uses are guaranteed to please

As they remedy afflictions with the utmost ease.

'But what are these plants?' I hear you say,

Well my second lesson will make your day!

Is your vision afflicted by something most foul?

Are runes and hypnosis making you howl?

A horror for some, but a blessing for you

Bayberry will blind you to the visions you rue.

Epidermal salve leaves this wondrous herb foiled

So keep it away to have darkness unspoiled.

For those dangerously generous, foolishly in love

Cursed with Justice or peaceful as a dove.

Bellwort is the remedy to all your ails

Your altruistic heart can turn hard as nails.

For with one bite you can once again hoard

Release Miramar's Curse, and swing a sword.

Now bloodroot is a very vital leaf

In curing paralysis or slickness, it's chief.

Every piece is a mauve and yellow cherubim

Breathing movement once more into torso and limb.

So basilisk flee, slike and curare can go

For bloodroot releases us from this deadly tableau.

Oh Echinacea, a nightmare to spell

But don't focus on that, it has uses as well!

Consuming this wonder grants a useful skill

To see the shrouded, and others locations at will.

When third eye is gifted, foes cannot hide

For you see who is where, Sapience wide.

Lord Aeon beckons, His curse most unkind

Visions of hell are plaguing your mind.

One puff on your pipe is the cure, O swift

Providing it's filled with elm from your rift.

Its foul odour is no cause for alarm

For this white pulpy mass can help prevent harm.

The jaundice cursed vampire desires pure veins

To sate eternal hunger with your remains.

Ginseng cures the maladies of blood

Halts addiction and nips darkshade in the bud.

So whether you think of the vampire or not

The forked root will fix what your blood has got.

Your mind's in disarray, but there's no need to fear

Goldenseal boots those afflictions right out of here!

Feeling stupid or have you epilepsy?

Impatient, shy, dissonant or dizzy?

You'll find relief in this unassuming root

For it'll make the terror of mind plagues moot.

Is incessant yodelling making you cringe?

Do you seek protection from the Bard and the whinge?

Hawthorn is the answer to all this and more

By making your ears just walk out the door!

Well, not literally, but it will stop you hearing

So you'll be deaf to yodels, to shouting and cheering.

For those who are feeling battle weary

In mind fuzzy, and body dreary.

What you seek has a magenta phosphorescence

Fortifying health and mana from first bite hence.

It's name's Irid Moss, and it's price is steep

But it's worth its weight, repelling eternal sleep.

Struggling for breath as you reach for you pipe

Then clumsily drop it? Don't mutter and gripe!

A waterborne plant is what you seek

To cure stricken lungs, and limbs feeling weak.

No more will your possessions lie strewn on the floor

For kelp is the remedy for these ailments and more.

If you find that you can't stop yawning

It's a clear sign that drowsiness is dawning.

But if you need to stay out of bed

Kola can stave the pillows away from your head.

For when the dream clouds are close enough to taste

Kola will silence them once, so you wake post haste.

Feeling irrationally fearful in your head?

Do heights or walls leave you filled with dread?

Well, now you, and all lovers of pain

Plus anyone who is recklessly vain

Can all be cured with one lobelia seed

For it's plain brown form will leave you freed.

Dread the sound of bells heralding school?

Acquainted with the humble dunce's stool?

I have the special remedy you seek

So you excel beyond the brain and geek.

Digest a myrrh gum ball to swell your brain

Your learning speeds shall never be the same!

Do the racial skills of Grooks make you insane?

Are Phereklos and Riparium your eternal bane?

Expensive fish scale tunics are a waste

For a slice of pear deters that salty taste.

But dally when air ceases to encase your head

And your corpse will litter the ocean's sandy bed.

Confused, demented, a hypersomniac?

Hallucinating, paranoid, mind out of whack?

The herb you need is prickly ash bark

To free your mind from it's insane lark.

So next time you feel like you're touched in the head

Don't find a therapist, reach for the ash instead.

When it comes to it's uses, Skullcap has dual.

The protection it can provide will make you drool.

Ingest just one, and in the blink of an eye

You'll be able to sense the moment friends die.

Smoke it to gain a formidable defence

Weapon rebounding, at your foe's health's expense.

Allies don't recognise you, you have mana leech

And your foul oily skin makes you dry reach!

Don't hide in the corner and wish it away

Fetch valerian and cure yourself today.

Light it up in a pipe, and have a quick puff

To regain friend's faith and remove oily slough.