Death of a Debutante

By: Chryseas Posted on: June 29, 2009

A faint lullaby is murmured by a soft melodical voice on the bed of a child. Her head bent gently towards the child, as she sways ever so slightly as not to disturb her. The name Kelsey can be seen engraved on the foot of the bed, which the mother swaying on the bed had commissioned especially for her daughter. Kelsey's eyes are closed, listening to the melody, as her wings slowly begin to relax into the beats of the song as she drifts to sleep.

Thoughts rumble through her mind as she tries to maintain the beat and melody of the lullaby, "Where did my life go wrong? Child in my arms, no man to help... I was destined for better things. This is not the way it was meant to be... I deserve better."

The raven-haired woman of average human beauty, with slightly drooping, tired dark eyes did not realize when she stopped humming and drifted off to the kitchen. She stared, her spirit deadened and feeling as if the world were unjust in denying her desires and deserved rewards. Her thoughts did not register that she had begun staring at the knife hanging in its place on the wall.

In a trembling voice, full of pride and reproach at the same time, "How did I get here?"

Her mind wandered to the past, to the beginning...

---

The same raven haired woman is seen, young and full of life, laughing in her melodious voice like chimes ringing in the air. She is dressed in the finest silks despite being barely older than a child; she is also precariously sipping from a porcelain tea cup, with her pinky finger extended.

"Noelle, you do tell the most curious stories! Honestly, I couldn't imagine it!", said a blonde haired beauty of an Atavian a few years older than the raven haired young lady before sipping her own mint jasmine tea. Her blue eyes were like ice studying Noelle, despite the compliment, this woman slightly ruffled her feathers in disdain.

"Truly, Marabelle it is the simple things. But these peasants surely need some guidance, we may as well show them the right of things," the raven-haired woman replied.

"We all know you're just hoping to build a case for marketing yourself into a good marriage. As we all are in our own ways. Too bad you have not a talent like Marabelle and I. They do say music is divine and food is the way to a man's heart," said a short brown haired Siren, who was only a year older than Marabelle, as she weighed Noelle with her piercing green eyes.

Noelle gave them a small smile, reminding herself that of course Kallie would say that, considering Kallie was the most revered singer and harpist in Shallam, and Marabelle was fast becoming the most prized baker and hostess amongst the wealthy families. Noelle's first "coming out" ball would be within the month, and the only reason Kallie and Marabelle were calling on her, despite their disdain for the heiress, was to receive an invitation, which would increase their chances of finding a good marriage among the eligible men who attend in respect for her family name.

Noelle, Kallie, and Marabelle's families were the last among the well-known wealthy families. Their families have always been an icon in Shallamese high society and the three heiresses were friends of sorts. But as with most women of breeding, they were as quick to take advantage of one another's weaknesses as they were to sit at lunch pretending to be bosom buddies.

In a far window, Noelle's parents listened to the conversation as it drifted up and her beautiful Sireni mother, Halley shook her head of vibrant dark gold curls ruefully. "Charles, where did we go wrong? We could not have raised such an impertinent, demanding child. Her untoward awkwardness will never allow her a good marriage. We can only hope for a steady husband in a minor family."

The gentleman standing by the window stretched his gray wings in consternation, before folding them as he watched the three young ladies outside, "Aye, Halley. I think we were far too indulgent of her. It is unseemly, but she never showed any talents, for finances, literacy, music... Perhaps with our wealth and a steady husband, she'll do fine."

"Few of the nobler families are even attending her ball. I haven't the nerve to tell her, but most are only coming in hopes of gaining favor with us. Many of the eligible men who have better prospects are not attending."

From behind his raven-dark head of hair seemed to stoop slightly before answering, "Did it ever occur to you Halley, that perhaps, marriage is not the only route for her? She could earn her living like my grandfather did. Marrying well is not the beginning or ending of life."

"How can you say that, Charles?! It's a tradition amongst the wealthiest, besides it is all she knows. Besides hard physical labor she is unfit for anything else." The sad realization of her statements made their position even grimmer.

"Halley, I would have been happy for her if she chose to study in a specific class, or not. Tradition or not, love. But, as our only heir, we must face facts," his voice firm and yet hesitant, a small tightness about his eyes. He turned towards his wife, stroking a finger along her jaw tenderly to mask his wings slight ruffling in agitation.

"Yes, love. Grim as they are," her voice tired as her face contorted in a slight grimace. She gave a soft, weak smile in his direction, not noticing his agitation or taking it as equally her own worries.

Halley sighed heavily as she stacked another letter on the "Regretfully Decline" stack of return invitations.

~ * ~ * ~ * ~

The night of her ball was an affair to remember, in the grand Sarack Manor, the ball was brilliantly lit with chandeliers that had small glass baubles to reflect the candle light more brightly than the candle itself could manage. The sconces set in the wall each held a perfumed candle that added a luxury to the room that could only be matched by the brilliant food that was served. Each savory dish was hand passed with butlers that seemed to glide invisibly amongst the mingling crowds.

All who had accepted the invitation had turned out in their best livery. Most guests were of more minor families, showing off their finest clothing in an attempt to gain favor and prestige amongst the high society families of wealth. Of these, you could tell they were wearing their most expensive accoutrements, from bracelets of the highest carat gold to dripping diamond earrings which were family heirlooms from ages past.

Lace, sequins, silk, satin, gossamer... there was something for every taste, as diverse as the people wearing them. In a long flowing gown of emerald green silk with lace accents and embroidery, Noelle stood off to the side as guests still arrived, gossiping with Kallie and Marabelle over who were the most eligible men there. Kallie and Marabelle snickered and giggled over the outrageous outfits of some of the men who came from lesser families and gawked with open hatred at other ladies' outfits who were less than their standard.

Kallie smiled smugly, "Honestly Noelle, this turnout is quite meager. Did you not give proper notice?"

Marabelle shared the smug smile, extending her one wing to hide their conversation, "Truly, why at Kallie's ball many of the Shallamese government even attended just at the rumor of her possibly giving a performance during it. Which, I might add, she did wonderfully!"

Kallie gave a soft giggle, "Oh you spoil me Mara! Your catering was the absolute best in history. Your special touch with the cooks did wonders for the feast they provided. I hear even the best chefs respect your suggestions."

At this point Noelle chimed in, "Well, I'm sure more will arrive very soon! Surely, none can refuse the Sarack name in such grand affairs." Flipping open her fan, to peer into the crowd over it, her eyes betrayed her confident voice.

While Noelle's attention was on the crowd, Kallie leaned close to Marabelle, "Surely, even her popularity would gain more eligible men than this? If nothing else, the family name should draw them?"

Marabelle smirked, "More honorable are not willing to risk their sons in the Sarack's downfall. Noelle is the only heir, with no talents to speak of; her beauty is average among such wealthy families. The Saracks are desperate to marry her well; you can see it beginning to seep into Noelle herself. Mark my words, the Sarack empire ends with this heiress."

Kallie nodded gravely, "So it seems. Are your informants positive of the facts?"

Marabelle laughed smugly and waved a hand as if pushing aside the doubts, "Could the personal assistant to the Sarack Manor not know her own domain?"

Kallie gave a bubbly gasp and her eyes twinkled with mischief, "Oh Mara! I've always admired your other skills! You'll surely be the queen of your household, by right if for no other reason."

Marabelle smiled, her eyes mirroring Kallie's for mischief, "As I intend Lee. Always as I intend."

They exchanged a conspiratorial smile before gracefully gliding beside Noelle, one to each side, touching her shoulder softly. They each gave her a peck to either cheek in deference and made their apologies about needing to mingle lest their parents think they raised peasants. Noelle waved each away and smiled to each.

She nodded to herself and glided across the ballroom, as if floating on a tiny cloud, her nose in the air which only detracted from her already small beauties. She raised her fan so only her eyes showed, attempting to look mysterious and all important, as she was taught but succeeded in only looking as she was, a woman flustered and on a mission. An Atavian man used to ordering specialty vials from her father caught her glance as he eyed her with much appreciation. He was very handsome, with dark eyes and red-gold hair that framed his face, as his slightly golden feathers framed his form, but he was of middling interest to the heiress as she sniffed and strided away.

She came up to her mother's side, agitation as evident in her careful movements as if she were wringing her hands. She used the fan as a barrier from the guests to hide her emotions, though her mother knew them well. "Mother, what is the meaning of this? None of the most eligible men are in attendance, only old puffed up men and minor families. Why didn't my invitations get sent properly?"

Her mother's verdant eyes became a bit sad and using her own jeweled, embroidered fan she spoke behind it, "Noelle, we gave the customary time for responses. Nothing went amiss, little dove. There are some fine looking men here; they are quite handsome if not the best. Like that eligible Merchant your father works with on occasion, he is quite taken with you."

"What would it be for a Sarack to marry so low? It is unseemly!! I will not have it!" As her training in manners controlled her eyes over the fan, it could not erase the creasing pout across her lips that formed her indignation.

Her father strode over and intervened by extending a wing around his daughter and wife, enclosing his small family as he spoke softly but firmly, "Noelle, this is what we have this night. Make the best of what you have. Please, for this night, act with the demure and breeding you were born to!"

Sulky and cut down, she assumed the posture of acquiescence and modesty befitting her ranking in society. "As you wish father." She flicked open her fan once more with force and turned on her heel abruptly.

The time for the ball officially began and the host called for attention and opened the floor for dancing, beginning with all single bachelors in a line to dance with Noelle. Noelle noticed that same Atavian merchant, smoothing over his hair as if in preparation, making sure he strayed towards the end so he could linger longest with the heiress. She pursed her lips behind her fan at his eagerness, which mirrored the eagerness of the others of less breeding as well.

Noelle spoke in soft tones with the host and asked him to order them by family, lesser in the beginning so that she may enjoy the longer dances with those most eligible. The man bowed respectfully and followed her instructions. As the first dances completed, Noelle's eyes were on her parents and her feet, never giving those of lesser breeding much chance to speak, oftentimes stepping on their feet in her daydreaming. Most of those gentleman walked away giving a gruff sort of grumble at being dismissed, but found themselves more pleasing company among the other guests, and soon these men made up a good number of clusters in the room whispering about Noelle's rudeness.

Noelle was oblivious of any of it, until she recognized a man of higher breeding than the others with a beautiful smile, all teeth in his Rajamalan face, beautifully delivered with brushed dark fur, accentuating his eyes. She was mesmerized by him as he took her to the dance floor, "You look lovely this eve, Maiden Sarrrack." He rolled his R's like a soft, low thrum, making her heart flutter just a touch.

"Mmm, why thank you m'Lord. I remember seeing you at Miss Marabelle's ball, what is your name?"

He chuckled mirthfully and purred it delicately into her ear, "Karrrrrter, Maiden Sarrack."

She blushed softly and giggled, "Noelle, please. Surely, Karter you are no normal bachelor. Even for a Rajamalan your years betray you somewhat."

At this, the music kicked up tempo enough for him to twirl her about, lifting her gently in an arc, "Quite. I am a divorcee, but surely single as it is meant to count. So I had to dance with the Maiden as requested." He winked at the last statement as if it were a great joke.

She smiled adoringly at him, never noticing the predatory look to his eye, the glint that made him smile more feral than before. He took her by the waist, pressing her tighter to him and dipped her in a final motion to the ending notes of the music. She smiled and giggled breathlessly as she stood upright again, "Shall we take another round?"

He bowed grandly as if he had nothing better in the world to do. Noelle waved a hand to the host dismissing the rest of the men who awaited their turn to dance with her and spent the rest of the evening in breathless sighs over Karter and his historical family lineage.

After many more nights courting Noelle in her Manor, she rejected any and all other visitors just so she could wait for him to call on her. Which he did irregularly and without any steadfastness to his word. An old family friend of her parents came to call on them one day and decided to make his way to speak with her as well.

As childhood friends they were a well-matched pair of human companions and often made a lark of getting married, until she learned he was beneath her. How she came to that conclusion was something she decided long ago, to carry the Sarack name to further fortune by marrying well and wealthy. He grew to be an influential figure in Shallamese society and a rich man on his own terms, not wealthy by societal standards, or hers, but well off enough to support a loving fiance.

Lance spoke quietly, "Waiting again Noelle?"

As if in a daydream she started a moment before mumbling, "Yes. He said he would be here today around this time."

"He doesn't treat you as you deserve, you know that. You shouldn't be made to wait like this. He's been seen cavorting with other frivolous high society women as yourself. Breathless sighs follow his steps as he walks the streets. Among other... interesting items."

The fire of jealousy and contempt burned in Noelle's eyes hearing every new word from him, "Get out, Lance! Get out right now!!" She turned on him swiftly, nearly marching him out of the Manor.

As he was hurried out the door, he muttered protests along the way. "I love you, Noelle, as a friend and always have." "I wish to help you, you deserve better than him!" "Noelle, please??"

She shut the door forcibly on him and his protests.

~ * ~ * ~ * ~

Noelle's face was pleading and yet enraged at the same time, her eyes with dark circles underneath, sitting in her family's guest room. Her parents were away on business, traveling the lands as usual to buy exotic items cheaprly for resale and she invited Karter to supper. She was a ripe marrying age now and Karter seemed to continually elude her grasp.

"Noelle, it would not be a fit. I have 3 children of my own; you seem to want to fill this manor with them! I... it is not possible for me any longer."

"But... Karter... I... it would be grand! You're already a great father. But, I must produce an heir.... I just... I must." Tears, streaked down her face not for the first time, eyes glistening, abysmal pools. They had shared intimate moments, despite the traditions and proprieties. She did it -for- him, for his love, and neglected her other duties and friends to be with him.

"Noelle, no. This cannot be. Our nights have been memorable, but I must move on and find someone who is more my match. Layla, she... well, she is my match. I'm sorry." Every word drove home moments of remembrance at the Silverdrop Inn, just the two of them, alone. Her heart seemed to tear her chest asunder.

He rose to leave with her clinging to his paw and the last bits of fur, "Karter........" She lay in a heap of tears, unable to think, unable to move.

A servant entered from the foyer, "Mistress, a message arrived for you. The courier seemed rather anxious to deliver it post haste."

She tried to dry her tears quickly, waving the servant away, and then spoke absent-mindedly receiving the letter, "Thank you."

Her stomach felt fluttery and sick, but she made herself sit long enough to read the urgent letter.

_______________________________________________________________

To the Mistress of the Sarack Household:

Mr. and Mrs. Charles Sarack were involved in a terrible accident. The criminals have been found and detained, but only enough was left of the Sarack's bodies to identify them.

Please visit the office of Hilton Krolgar for details on the division of funds and inheritances.

_______________________________________________________________

As the second shock of the evening hit her in waves, Noelle felt numb from head to foot as she climbed into her bed and stared wide-eyed at the ceiling, not getting any sleep that night.

Dressed in a somber, black satin dress that fit her just right, Noelle sat in Hilton Krolgar's office, awaiting the details of her inheritance. The air had a stale, musty smell of stagnation as if work here was done slowly or not at all. Though the furniture was adequate, much was worn with use, seemingly as old as Mr. Krolgar himself at 80 years.

Mr. Krolgar, showing himself to be a stout Horkval though his scales were now dimmed with age and wear, entered and sat in his chair across from Noelle and said, "Aye, greetings lass. I do remember you from when ye were only yay nigh to my waist. You've grown to be a pretty little thing."

"Thank you, Mr. Krolgar," Noelle said with half a heart. "I understand you handled most of my parents' financial matters?"

"Aye, that do be true, Miss Sarack. Now, for your father's estate, which really is the majority and true essence of the Sarack Inheritance as it has been passed from generation to generation has a special note attached, for your eyes only."

_______________________________________________________________

Dearest Noelle,

The words I have to tell you are not the easiest I've ever had to admit. In fact, they are so terribly difficult, I had to wait until my death to tell you this truth.

You, my dearest daughter, are not the true heir to the Sarack line.

Your mother and I were an arranged marriage set up to give a true born heir, but you are not the first born of the Sarack line. This makes you only secondary to my son, Archer, whom I leave all my worldly possessions aside from 10% for you Noelle.

Archer was born in secret into a minor family because of his mother's lower rank, so he has not had the privilege of your upbringing. He will know my love now in the only way I could give it to him.

I hope you have grown into the sort of woman who can give forgiveness to a poor fool. If you are ever in need of help in times of struggle, I have an Eleusian family friend, Cooper Linaiz and his wife, Marlene. He agree to help you in life if you ever needed any advice.

Your loving father, Charles Sarack

_______________________________________________________________

Handing another letter to Noelle, before her tears could finish with the new wave of despair and dread of the knowledge. She was not the rightful heir. Not the true heir as the family was concerned.

"Your mother did leave you a letter in her passing as well."

_______________________________________________________________

Noelle,

I cannot begin to wonder where I might have gone wrong with you little dove. You have so much heart, but your path has strayed. I hope by now you have a suitable, stable husband and all the riches a home and family can provide.

In my passing, I grant you all my worldly possessions and control over any and all my affairs from hereon.

Your mother,

Halley Baber-Sarack

_______________________________________________________________

Noelle felt as if her entire world had crumbled in those two letters, she dropped them to the floor and cried, wanting to scream, but not wishing for this man to watch her fall apart. She looked up, hatred and contempt in her eyes for Krolgar as if it were his fault, ready to shout when the door opened slowly. An Atavian man, using his wings to hover gently seemed to glide in, with dark raven hair and green eyes, he had an air of someone who knew his worth and self-importance as he enfolded his wings to enter the office.

As he looked down at Noelle's tear-stained face, he wore a satisfied smile in that handsome face with just a touch of smugness, "Greetings little sister, Dear." The last word was said with more contempt than affection and Noelle knew her enemy now.

His face lit up with a genuine smile as he gave a friendly hug to Hilton, "Hilton, my man! How do you fare? Well, I hope?"

Noelle blinked and realized where she had seen this man before, at her ball, he was one of the first men she hurriedly danced with because he came from a lesser family in her eyes and not worthy of her attentions. She gasped softly at the realization, "You were at my ball!"

"Yes, sister dear, father invited me especially and bid me accept so that I could meet you. Even if the knowledge were not known yet, I should meet my next line of kin." His smirk only emphasized his contemptuous tone and how he felt for his sister.

Noelle knew her defeat in those moments and turned to Krolgar, head tilted high as if she still were the true heir, "What now?"

Krolgar bowed his head respectfully to Archer, turning the conversation over to him, "Seeing as how I own nearly everything you've ever known in life, I'll not be too harsh. I have a few business matters in Hashan to take care of, per father's wishes, and then I must take care of my affairs here, so you have approximately four months to get your own affairs and possessions together. In smaller terms, dear sister, you have four months to move out of MY Manor, Sarack Manor, and take the 10% left to you to a new residence. My mother and I shall occupy it soon and she'll be moving in within the month to prepare for my arrival."

"But... but... I..."

He cut her off, "You are NOT to touch anything of official Sarack forms, letters, or finances. You are NOT to remove anything more than your 10% or something my mother deems as belonging to me."

---

Mind stuck reliving her past, Noelle was not aware of her present day actions.

Noelle stood by the worn and dented table not realizing that she gripped that sharp knife in her right hand. She was mumbling and muttering to herself, no longer aware of things around her. She did not even hear Kelsey open the door of her bedroom to peek out at her mother to see what was going on.

The small, humble home looked dusty and empty in the night. Kelsey had only ever known its ramshackle existence, playing with shadows as her friends, because her mother seemed too broken inside to play with her. Learning amongst the shadows, using her arms and wings as shadow puppets, she knew how to be quiet and she sat, wondering why momma wanted to cut fruit to eat this late at night.

And back...

---

As it turned out her mother owned a lovely property near the river. It was older and not fancy, but it was comfortable living with plenty of small luxuries. Her mother had kept it as a retreat from her father.

She felt safe in the knowledge and while she had people helping her move her belongings to the home, she was still keeping to the traditional as best she could. For her, this meant more attempts at finding a good match for a husband. She was incessant in her search, so she decided that since her first ball seemed a mishap of invitations, she held 3 more in the months before Archer would claim the regal home of her childhood. All the while, his mother tsk-ed her every breath, which she haughtily ignored as the ramblings of an ill-bred commoner.

She thought if the extravagance and beauty of her balls were to be known, more might come the next time. So she made every expense to assure people would attend, even calling on them at their homes, giving gifts and regards on behalf of herself and her family. She never dared breathe a word about Archer, after all, she still was an heiress in her own right, if not the eldest she was still a Sarack, born of the line.

Little did she know, the others knew of her desperation, of her need to marry well and produce a "true heir" before her long lost brother could. The snickering in the shadows of her ignorance and obsession was the talk of high society at any sitting. Soon enough most high society families would not receive her for any sort of visits, but she did not understand, shaking it off as a mistake and would find ways to corner them in the streets as they left their homes.

She never understood or took notice of their avoidance; most took to "sneaking" out of their own houses lest she catch them off guard in her desperate obsession. Even families of middling wealth and rank took to avoiding her whenever possible. She had disgusted so many of the older families in the city that her final ball consisted only of herself, Marabelle and Kallie.

Marabelle and Kallie were like fluttering vultures, watching the self-destruction and downfall of Noelle Sarack, who seemed annoyingly oblivious to what was occurring around her. Marabelle and Kallie were both each entertaining two suitors trying to decide which they liked best, and at each event hosted by Noelle they tried to decide whether Noelle's oblivious nature was genuine or a stubborn streak of pride. It was their best entertainment, even more so after Noelle snubbed them for Karter those months ago.

Noelle would try to get back into their good graces, unaware of their secret smirks and giggles at her condition. They offered shallow commiserations when Noelle's attempts failed each and every time at finding an eligible bachelor. On the day Noelle moved to her mother's home, finding herself without any coin except enough to support herself for one more year at best, both women called on her and were aflutter and swooning over their marriage proposals. Each was to marry into the two best families who had available male heirs.

Noelle sniffed and lifted her chin haughtily, "I'll do well enough. You're lucky you have mothers to help arrange meetings for you."

"Perhaps, it wouldn't hurt you to act your ranking Noelle. I mean honestly, this cottage is dustier than my dead servant's floorboards."

"Oh well, it's a shame you have no talents. It would be so much the easier for you. Even among the minor families."

Noelle sniffed indignantly, "I have determination and I will not fail my family name."

In the years to come, Noelle spent the rest of her inheritance on lavish gifts on potential suitors in attempts to curry favor with the noble families once more, while her brother charmed his way into their hearts with his wit and intelligence. He had inheritted more than material wealth, Archer also inheritted her father's winning way with people and his unequivocable Atavian charm. He was received by every house in hopes of marrying their daughters into the "true" Sarack family bloodline. Noelle skulked in the shadows, knowing she deserved what her brother had but unable to attain it.

She would write long letters to eligible men and their families listing her good qualities, sending gifts, and offering favors suiting her station in life, but not her current condition. She became despairingly dejected when her letters asking why they did not think she was suitable were unanswered, time and again.

Eventually, the gifts became less expensive and Noelle took to offering other sorts of services to men in hopes of catching their eye in other ways. She gave engaged men special treatment and attention, knowing they were already poised and ready for marriage, in hopes to turn their eyes to her instead. Tantalizing at every turn, she teased as much as she offered.

In the shadows of gossip, Noelle the Sar-vicer, sold her mother's home to pay debts and fled to Cooper and Marlene Linaiz's house to work as the most basic of tutors for their three youngest children. The eldest son was enlisting in the city defenses, per tradition in their family, and could soon support himself indepdendently. He was a striking human with sun-lightened brown hair and blue eyes.

"Coop, dear, wouldn't it be lovely to have me as your daughter-in-law? Surely, your son is willing as I've done so well with his siblings," Noelle said with only a slight pleading simper.

"That is his choice, Noelle. Perhaps he'll come around," replied Marlene as she exchanged a glance with her husband.

Seldin Linaiz began to avoid his home, leaving letters in secret compartments about the manor for his mother and father. After repeatedly bowing out of Noelle's embrace or cooing, he began feeling stalked, and soon asked for enough gold to study abroad on the island of Ulangi.

Despite Seldin's disappearance, her manner to the young ones remained the same, which was the only thing keeping her in the Linaiz home, considering how she tried being adopted into the family even without a marriage to tie her to them. Cooper politely declined saying they had a full home already and it would not do well for her spirit. Marlene gave curt nods and commiserating hugs, attempting to ignore her manipulations.

"How can a woman be so driven by an antiquated ideal?" Marlene whispered in corners with her husband.

"I'm not sure, Marlene dear heart. But, we gave our word, blessed be her father's soul, we gave our word." Cooper's voice was weary, knowing the truth of those words, despite the other glaring truth that things were not well.

Solemnly they nodded to one another as their eyes met, knowing that they would keep their promise as best they could despite the atrocities of Noelle's actions.

---

'How long ago was that?' Noelle thought in her present-day.

Kelsey couldn't tell what sort of fruit her mother was cutting, but she cut it with deliberate strokes. Slowly, the moon became brighter, making her mother look paler somehow. How did shadows do that? Did they become darker? Or did her momma just get lighter? The knife clattered to the table...

Her body worked of its own accord as her mind wandered to a different place and time once again.

---

"OUT! Right NOW, you FOUL creature!! You may be your father's blood, but there is NOTHING noble about you! Your father was the noblest man and you have not a SPECK of his decency! GET OUT!!" yelled a furious Marlene.

Cooper did nothing but stand by his wife's side, knowing her right of things and unable to move because he knew in his soul that this was overdue.

Noelle pleaded, "No! Please!? I have no where else to go! I know no other way to live!! I just can't!!!" She fell to her knees in tears, crying out as if tears could heal the wound of her inappropriateness. "I meant NOTHING by it! I swear on my hope of salvation! I... just... Coop begged me for it! He did! Giving me hints and kisses as if they were chocolates to taste and savor!"

Cooper's face was silent and taught, but now his anger became a cold, leaden fury, "Take the clothes on your back and leave now. Here's a small bag of gold. Just leave. Do not look back." He dropped a bag in front of the miserable creature as he held to his wife's hand, gripping it in his, giving his support and receiving her strength in that small gesture.

"After we gave you our hearts and let you into our home, you betray our trust like this? MY husband treated you like another child. Just because you could not marry into the family nor manipulate your way into the fold, does NOT give you any right to use your disgusting seductions on him! Be gone!!"

Noelle fled, running as fast as she could, though she knew not where she was running to. She passed a city, a village, trudging along in her despair until she sought the blackness of an alley, darkened by the night and lit in bare patches by the moonlight. Darkness, that is always good for times of failure like this. She bundled into a ball and cried years of sorrow, until she heard the soft crunching of boots down the alley. She suddenly realized where she was... in an alley near to her old home in Shallam. The knowledge made no difference and seemed natural for her to return to the start of her desparate journey. She didn't care about the noise, or the realization, nor did her inept instincts at defense allow her to move or think more on it than the fact that someone was coming.

A hand closed around her mouth, while the other wrapped itself tightly on her waist and pulled her close until she could smell the alcohol and dirt on the stranger's clothes. Then a familiar, airy Atavian accented voice from the past grated as a whisper into her ears, "Teased too much this time, eh lass? I don't favor teasers; they leave a dry taste in the mouth and a pain in the chest. Fear not pretty girl, your fall from grace will be swift and pleasurable... For me."

The man's voice made her heart stop as the memory tickled the back of her mind of a man looking particularly interested at her as he whispered to friends of her dismissal of him at her first ball. Then another of dismissing him when setting her eyes on his younger brother in the home of Marabelle during a luncheon.

Vancor Greogn was always the silent sort, but always in awe of her despite the rumors. He was never good enough for her, having only half the noble blood being from a previous marriage in the family. She had overlooked him, as she did so many others and used him to get access to his brother and others whom she deemed worthy. She felt indignant and outraged that this peasant could think to hold her against her will this way.

"Yes, remember me, my pretty. You have fallen far, but fear not, I will give you what you've truly been deserving of for the past many years...." As silently as he approached, he wrapped his large wings about them, playing the darkness for all its worth, a single strand of red-gold locks fell onto her cheek as he desceneded and gave her what she deserved.

~ * ~ * ~ * ~

As if awakening from a long sleep, she heard a baby crying. Baby? What baby? Marlene, did you birth again? Surely it is too many years past for you to birth?

"Ah, there's the momma. Here she is! Kelsey has been looking for you for a while now," a warm, motherly voice said.

"Wha-?" Noelle felt numb and blurry.

"It's alright. You told me you had named her Kelsey after your favorite childhood friend. She's been such a good girl while you were sleeping."

Struck dumbfounded, she could not recall what had happened. The last she remembered was crying desperately on the floor of Linaiz Manor and now she's with child? More than with child, she had birthed one. Something tickled her memory, a slash of red-gold hair, that quickly got shoved aside again and she became all smiles and politeness, "Can I see her?"

"Of course! I must say, you've been the best mother, she loves you very much, I can tell."

---

Noelle finally knew, her memories were now intact, these years later. A single tear streaked down her cheek at the impact of her own history.

Noelle collapsed on the floor, blood running down her hands from her slit wrists; she was pale as the moon itself. Her eyes turned to Kelsey, watching from the door and stared blankly at her daughter as she ran to her side screaming, "MOMMA! No!!"

Noelle smiled at her daughter, realizing what she'd done and all her wrong turns in life, "You are my greatest achievement. And......... " Her voice seemed to stutter against death's grip on her soul. "I remember." The life spark in her eyes clouded over as her last energy was spent in those words and as her spirit fled to Thoth's domain, it was heralded by the agonizing screams of Kelsey's voice, "MOMMAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!"