Dreams of Bopalopia

By: Tewdrig Posted on: February 17, 2005

Am I dreaming? Can this be real?
My head is throbbing with every heartbeat.
That purple mushroom was some kind of treat,
And maybe the cause of the nausea I feel.

Last thing I remember the woods were around;
Some druid's blanket, a golem or two.
How I came to be here, I haven't a clue;
Just the smell of livestock and a hat that I found.

And let me just tell you, the animals are weird:
The cats are so ticklish, the squirrels are at war,
The cows are accountants, the frog is a bore.
This whole place is bizarre; it is just as I feared.

The first house that I come to is really a sty.
A pig with a helmet on roots in the slop,
Puffs up his chest, and sits with a plop.
He asks for some food and I kindly comply.

Although a bit arrogant, Sir Piggly seems nice
So I humor his gallantry, and follow him out.
We march to the Castle and he says with a pout:
"I can go no further." Hunger comes with a price.

Finally, we come to a room in the tower
Where the Princess is trapped in a candy cage.
Sir Piggly goes into a confection-rampage,
And gives the poor Princess a slobbery shower.

Freed from her prison, her hands on her hips,
The Princess thanks Piggly as sweet as can be.
"Find the gimth-grinkleth and bring it to me!"
She begs me, in turn, with a mind-numbing lisp.

What can I say? Is this all in my head?
Ducklings in dresses prance in the streets,
A smoke-belching hookah afflictions excretes,
One more jackalope and I'll surely be dead.

If I'm not drugged, and if this place is real,
It's the greatest creation that I've ever seen.
Ayar himself must have been on the gleam
To have fashioned this land with inebrious zeal.

Well, I found my way out, needless to say.
I'll take you there with me, if I can remember the way.