As I speaks

By: Gani Posted on: April 20, 2004

Them all tells me I speak with an accent of sorts, an accent as them cannot understand. But I dinna think to hold my pen so odd as to write with an accent as well, yet tis possible as I want for grammar.

As right as I be able, I'll tell my stories, then, for whar them all will be more understanding iffen it be true what I do talk a mite odd.

*****

Like all the rest, I begin with birthing. My family were in a small settlement in the South of the Vashnars, near the Desert and well East of Cyrene. But Cyrene was not, them days, for twas three grand big cities: Shallam and Ashtan and Hashan, only. But what all I know, what cities be, tis a fact just for marking years.

So when I was born, twas another child, mayhap ten years older, Dabt by name. His hair were flaming red, but otherwise we shared a face. I carry his picture by mine heart, still, iffen tha care to see him.

For a childling, I tagged along for Dabt's studies. I was every day to watch him repeat his history, his mythology, his morals, and what else a young man would be made to learn. Upon he came of age, and set off over the mountains. We had many letters, those first months, grand tales of impending knighthood and gallivanting with city folk. But with the many days, so went the letters.

With years, my parents became less able with child-raising, and for my twelfth birthday, I was sended to live with other family in Jaru. Those cousins was rich, at least compared with mine parents, and so's I was took on journeys. We saw Delos and Hashan, and they taught me to keep from getting lost, but what I always knew like mine own village was just Shallam and Jaru. Whenever we journeyed, I would lose myself looking for Dabt, but he never got found. And the years went, and I came of age. I was still welcomed for mine cousins, but I chose to make off alone. I looked for Dabt and strived to become a Paladin so's I would be a knight as well, after what I followed him to lessons and tried to learn as boys do.

I was given luck there. I gained for a teacher Sir Walter Weltsdown. Came a day, I was sent with errands to Ashtan. In the streets there was a red-bearded man with fire for hair, and I knew him by face for all what he had changed his name. I ran that way to hug him, and he turned. "Shallamite," said my brother – and I never forgot me what he said, for all it hurt – "Shallamite, leave our walls."

It was four years from that as I hid my face from all people. Iffen Dabt would not know me, life could not mean aught. Yet came a day, I woke up and still in me Shallam wanted to be served. Sir Walter, what I had always called Father, took me in for his own, and the Paladins was always kind even when I bled for Guild and Church. Some folks knew me even with four years gone and was kind.

*****

Some three years went, and I fell in love. What's true, I fell in love many times with my life. I've had and lost many a good man. First there was Lyndal, what left his home in Shallam for sourness for me, and Grifter, and Querada, and Anu what was the first as we actually was married, and Guilo, and Rumius as be mine second husband now.

But what I fell in love then was Grifter Zehl. Then I remember him for what it was the first time Ethian's Crossing was observed. There was, when I was growing, nine landmarks, and them was all a fight all the time, so it was always bleeding for the Church. And sometime around what I was twentyfive, it came so's the landmarks got power only half of every second year, and some years later, it came what it was only Sarapin every year when them could be appeased.

That first Ethian's Crossing I done to fall in love with Grifter Zehl. He were a Paladin, and the master tamer of the dragonforge. That was when Phaestus was still gone, and he was one of those as held out great wishes for what He would be back. I never loved the forge, but I loved one of its best tamers, and in ways I still does, for he waked me to a pile of newness.

What all did he wake me to? The truest love ever I knowed. When I was but younger still, I'd had a love I thought were great, but it frayed when a woman came along. She claimed she wanted me for a friend, but clawed at mine body and heart. That man I thought I loved, he could not help me refuse her what all was mine to give but not hers to take. There was no apology to come from him, and so…

Grifter was one of the friends what welcomed me after the four years I was gone. His arms was open, and what all he chided me for holding on with Lyndal, he teased me back to mine own warmth. And at the end of that first Crossing, when the Church and the Paladins and all Shallam had lost its shine at the last moment, Grifter and I was sitting apart from all Shallam, inside his shop, and I pried open his fingers for to see a golden band.

That same day I was engaged, I won the Amulet of the Dragon, what separates Pentharian's followers from the rest. Aye, it be of gold, but its value be the Righteousness of its bearers. So's I was recognized for a pious one, and I was following a God what beheld much of my Guild and much of Father Walter's family what took me in.

The strength of Elysia brought me to finishing the last tasks of my probating, and I was made a full Paladin, like to them greater than ever I could be. The year was 286, round to seventy-five years gone. Tis true, for all what happens, tis no denying but what I be an old lass.

*****

Not more than some six months went and I got a letter, it told me as I would leave Shallam with the month. It took me home to Va'ira. Its words were these: Dabt was at home, and my father was to die. I was told my father had died nearly ten years gone, and what a delight to hear him alive, and then what a shame to hear him near to dead.

So I went home to see my father, and also for seeing Dabt. With fear, I went, and with recall of what words Dabt and I had in Ashtan.

I wish I could say peace took my father from Sapience, but lies be naught. When I came into the house that still knew me, he was drawing a breath reckoned one of the last. I'd known him round, and then he was white and thin to be took for a birch tree, but what he was breathing and clothed. There was no greeting, but Mother did say what he looked better when I came in.

Dabt arrived nigh on two days after I done. When he bringed his swords in the house, I knew what for I had brought fear with me. He sat for Father's left, I for the right, and he took my hand over Father's body. He said more words I know even know. "Your path is wrong, but you are still my sister." I didn't was able to take such words. I turned my face to the wall for what it would not be fair to make Father see my tears and for what my pride would hurt iffen Dabt saw. But he came around the bed, and he took me into the light, and said for what I was a coward. Father said as he should promise to behave better by when Father awake his nap, but he closed his eyes and they were not to open.

It was grief that made me take Dabt's hand, but still I cannot explain with what he done to slap me. He drew his swords, and then he waited me while I drew mine, and even now, with seventy years gone and more, still what I know is only that he be slain and I be full of guilt.

*****

I went to Shallam soon again, after the both of them was buried. I stayed with Grifter a year or some, and then again I went home to Va'Ira. Some months there, seven or some, and a baby came to me. What I wanted him to be good, and not to come out like mine Infernal brother, I bid me to raise him there, and let him learn all what I could teach.

With some eighteen years, I came back to Shallam with Quaunaut. Grifter at first didn't knew me, and he took himself a wife as he didn't know what I was coming back ever. And then he saw the boy and so his eyes, and he knew us. With the first time I lefted for Jaru, I was young so's I picked up the city accent, but after to go back so old and stay night on twenty years, I was set in ways, and for all them as claim I talk so funny as to dinna be understood a wink, now it'll be known why.